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La Magia Del Perdón

Posted on April 4, 2014 at 11:08 AM

La vida nos ha provocado a todos heridas por pérdidas: vivir es un riesgo y en ocasiones los demás o nosotros mismos actuamos de tal modo que acabamos por lastimarnos.La única medicina que existe para curar nuestras heridas se llama “Perdón“, pero no la venden en la farmacia. Para perdonar debemos decidir perdonar. Es un proceso, es una decisión, es una determinación que liberará nuestra energía.Todos tenemos heridas: unas leves, otras más grandes, y a veces, unas que parecen incurables. Las heridas dejan cicatrices, para recordarnos cómo fue que nos lastimamos. Perdonar no es olvidar. Es bueno no olvidar cómo fue que nos hicimos daño, para no cometer de nuevo el mismo error.Es distinto tener la cicatriz a estar rascando la herida hasta que se infecte. ¿Cuándo es el momento de desapegarse del dolor? Es una pregunta casi sin respuesta. A cada cual le llega su momento de decidir seguir adelante sin el peso del dolor. No hay un tiempo convencional, depende de muchos factores: cuál es la pérdida, quién la provocó, si fue mi responsabilidad o no, cómo era mi relación con el otro…Se ha escrito mucho sobre las etapas del duelo. Podemos suponer que las personas tenemos ciclos muy parecidos para enfrentar el dolor. Primero lo negamos y queremos pensar que la pérdida no ha sucedido, pero la realidad se impone y la ausencia del otro nos confirma día a día que es cierto que ya no está.Después solemos enojarnos: con quién nos lastimó, con quién se murió, con la enfermedad, o con nosotros mismos. Es mejor estar enojados que negar. La energía del enojo nos habla de vida. Pero no debemos quedarnos enojados demasiado tiempo. Hay quiénes se quedan estancados en alguna etapa y sus vidas dejan de funcionar. A veces, entra la etapa de negociación: hacemos propuestas, fantaseamos, creemos que es posible regresar el tiempo. El daño ya está hecho. Lo que dije, lo que no dije, lo que hice y lo que no hice, ya está! No hay “Y si hubiera…”, por favor, intenta no te quedarte en esa etapa de estar dándole vueltas y vueltas en la cabeza a lo que hubieras hecho diferente. Todo está ordenado.Después de la etapa de negociación suele venir la de tristeza: depresión, nostalgia, apatía, melancolía, dolor y más dolor. A veces es una especie de homenaje al que se fue: para que sepas cuánto te quiero voy a estar triste el resto de mi vida. A veces es apego: me dejó el marido y no puedo pensar en otra cosa porque todo en mí dependía de ti. Perdí un trabajo y no puedo más que lamentarme por ya no estar en esa compañía maravillosa…Es una decisión dejar de lamentarse. Es una decisión volver la mirada a lo que si tengo, a lo que sí permanece, a lo nuevo: a las posibilidades que se abren.Hay que saber decir adiós. Perdonar para liberar toda la energía que se queda en el otro: sea la vida, una empresa o una persona. Recordemos que el perdón es un proceso, pero sobre todo una decisión. En esta etapa el enojo se ha vuelto sobre uno mismo. Estamos enojados con nosotros mismos por haber permitido que nos lastimaran o por haber lastimado al otro.Algunos de los obstáculos que nos hacen permanecer en ese estado depresivo, y no perdonar, son:1. Conseguir la compasión de los otros.2. Sentirme tranquilo porque la culpa fue del otro y yo soy muy   bueno.3. Señalar lo malo del otro me hace sentir superior.4. Yo no me tengo que esforzar más en la vida.Es fundamental entender que sólocuando me perdone y perdone a los demás, sanaré mi herida.Sólo cuando perdone pasaré a la última etapa: la aceptación, que significa integrar el acontecimiento a mi vida, cómo parte de mi historia. Significa aprender la lección. Significa encontrar el sentido, o por lo menos creer que lo que sucedió tiene sentido. Significa decidirse a vivir de nuevo. Recordar que tenemos cerca personas que nos aman y que no tenemos el derecho a preocuparlas o agobiarlas con nuestro dolor, claro, después de un determinado tiempo.Sí, la vida no es fácil. Sí, a veces vivimos situaciones extremadamente dolorosas. Sí, a veces sufrimos pérdidas irreparables, por causa de la naturaleza, por nuestra causa o por causa de otros.La mejor opción es decidir recuperar los pedazos, aprender de la situación, volver a amar, volver a creer, volver a sonreír; perdonarnos y perdonar.
  ¡Vale la pena!   

Categories: La Magia Del Perdón

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